What It's Like Being the Wife of a Bishopric Counselor

When my husband was called to be the second counselor for our last bishop, he sat there sort of bewildered. The Stake Presidency member who came to issue the calling sat there while my husband sort of chewed on the idea. I know my husband well, and could tell he was seriously considering declining the call.

So I answered for him. "Well sure he will!"

The three of us talked about the responsibilities and sacrifices the calling would entail, and my sweet husband wasn't sure he wanted to take time away from our family while our kids are all young. He was also probably worried about my mental load increasing too much, and was trying to be considerate of that. He knew I had struggled with overwhelm in the years following our last child's birth, and didn't want this calling to be the catalyst for more stress on me or the family. I, on the other hand was only thinking about the blessings I would receive, and readily volunteered my sweet husband for the job. If our family could step up and serve, make some sacrifices, and be fixtures in our ward community, we would be blessed.

He did accept the calling and served for several months while the end of the Bishop's term approached. One week, that same Stake Presidency member called us into his office and told us he was extending a release to Conrad and thanked us both for the sacrifices we made. Then came the news. He told us that he (the Stake Presidency member) had been called to be the new bishop, and he wanted Conrad to be his first counselor. Conrad was surprised, but I was not.

This time, I let Conrad answer on his own. We both accepted the calling and left his office with mixed feelings (mine of excitement and belonging and willingness, his of reluctance and maybe even a little frustration). The comment he kept saying was "I didn't even get a week off between bishops." The thing he misses most is sitting with us in sacrament, but we've gotten into a rhythm and sit where he can easily smile at us.

So what has it been like as his wife?

Well, he's had the opportunity to serve with two really wonderful different bishops now, each with his own unique leadership style. I think he'd say the more freedom he has to use his own talents to help plan and lead, the better. I've been his confidante and unofficial advisor, and occasionally help him with administrative tasks that overwhelm him, but I don't ever hear or handle anything that isn't appropriate for me to hear or handle.

As far as time commitments go, it hasn't been too different for us, but that's probably because he's been a Young Men's leader for around fifteen years, so we've had over a decade to adjust to Wednesday night Mutual (youth group) and the occasional after-church commitment. He might say the time spent on callings has gone up, but I wouldn't.

My perspective of this calling has been much different than his. At the time of his first counselor calling, I was very lonely. Our ward had merged with another, and I had struggled for over two years to feel like I belonged (it was especially difficult because this is NOT something I normally struggle with or feel insecure about). I had been praying for opportunities to make friends and feel like I had a place in the ward, so when the call came, it felt more like a blessing than a sacrifice. With Conrad in the bishopric, we'd have the chance to get to know more ward members and hopefully strengthen some relationships.

It's been a real answer to prayers, and I'm grateful we've been given the opportunity to serve in this capacity. If you're the wife of a bishop or counselor, tell me how your experience has been! I'd love to hear more perspectives.